Charlie Mortimer was educated (reluctantly) at Eton. Now describing himself as a ‘middle-aged, middle-class spiv (mostly retired)’, amongst other things he was in the Coldstream Guards, a vintage-car restorer, oil-rig roughneck and pop-group manager, as well as a boatboy/mechanic in Africa, car salesman in California, manufacturer of boxer shorts in Asia and an antiques dealer. He now lives in West London with his partner.

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